Being a solo traveler and photographer, I pride myself on my own resourcefulness. I never set out to be a loner, but I can take care of myself and if the situation calls for it, I can go it alone for as long as necessary. I feel like it is an essential and common trait for all photographers.
I am resilient to adversity. I take the hard lessons and keep pushing. I seek out people and information from the ground up, face to face with honesty, integrity and compassion. I work hard and I work independently, which usually means I work alone (**as before mentioned, by necessity**).
I take pride in my approach and feel like I am stronger because of it. It has given me a sense of power and control over my own direction. It has given me confidence, it has taught me self-reliance and it has guided me through tough times. My approach has always taken care of me, that is, until this week.
This week my biggest strengths became my biggest weaknesses. This week I found myself immobile, in pain and stripped of my usual self-reliant abilities. I was sick. I was defeated and incapable of even standing myself up. Sweating, freezing, unable to swallow or walk, ears aching and head pounding, I laid in a cheap motel bed groaning in pain and disorientation for the better part of 96 hours. I was helpless.
I knew I wasn’t doing a single thing to help myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t take fever reducers at the correct intervals. I couldn’t prepare any kind of nutritious and palpable food. I couldn’t change my sweaty sheets. Most importantly, I couldn’t get myself to a doctor because I couldn’t even walk. I kept thinking, “How did I let it get to this point?”
In the days leading up to my predicament, I had been hanging out with some friends and kayakers at the Glenwood Wave in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. High temperatures had worked their hardest on the high country snowpack and transformed the Colorado River into a 25,000 cfs (cubic feet per second) behemoth. It made for some amazing playboating.

(Jackson Kayak team members Clay Wright and Jason Craig surf the wave in their kayaks while another is taking the stand up approach.)
On the last morning of our stay, I was feeling a little off and decided to rest in the van. The day heated up and the inside of the van turned into a convection oven, aiding in my physical and mental plunge.
My buddies told me they were taking off for another part of the state and asked what my plans were. In my self-reliant persona I said I wasn’t feeling well and that I would catch up with them later. That was dumb. Later came and I realized there would be no catching up. I needed AC and somewhere to be for a few days. The dizzying 2.4-mile drive from the wave to my motel should have been a strong indicator that I needed a doctor first, then a bed, but I felt I could just ride it out.
I was very wrong.
That one decision changed everything. Once I was in bed, there was no getting out. Eight hours into my stay, I started feeling a bit uneasy about my state of helplessness and sent my parents a text message to let them know what was going on and where I was. Unfortunately they were in the middle of some marathon travels of their own and would not receive the text for another 24 hours.
When we finally talked, I was not myself. In fact, I barely remember anything that was actually said. What I do remember was the sound of concern my condition had put in my parents’ voices. It is a sound you never want to hear, because as helpless as I was, they felt even more so.
With a new perspective, I downed a handful of Advil, waited an hour then made a run for it, literally. In my state of self-destruction I had neglected to realize that there was a hospital three blocks away from my disgusting, sweaty motel bed.
I must have really looked the part when I walked in because as soon as I filled out my paperwork, the woman at the desk sent me to the lab for a Strep Throat culture. I hadn’t even seen a doctor or a nurse yet.
Soon afterwards I was in an exam room with a cheery female doctor who was so excited about my extremely advanced case of Strep Throat that she asked if I would mind being used as a teaching case for her interns. I was so fired up to finally know what was going on and that I would have an easy remedy that I remember smiling and belting out the words, “Bring ‘em on in!”
You may be thinking, “Geez, what a wimp. Who writes a thousand words about getting Strep Throat?”
Well, I am writing this because I learned a lesson. Just like all of the lessons we learn in our lives, it can apply to nearly anything.
In my own self-described confidence, I failed to realize that sometimes you really do need someone else’s help and you need to ask for it. I could have told my friend I really wasn’t doing well and needed some help getting to a doctor. I could have asked a doctor for help before going to a motel. I could have done a number of things that would have drastically shortened my misery, but I didn’t because I was overly confident in what I could do on my own.
Sometimes we just need a little help. Don’t ever be too afraid or too confident to ask for it.
Comments
Todd commented on 17-Jun-2010 02:02 PM
Congrats man, sounds like you have some good stuff going for you! For what it's worth, I like seeing the news on your blog; it helps me get away from the desk, if only mentally.